After my recent involvement in a wedding party, I’ve had time to reflect on many conversations I had with the bridal party and fellow guests. One kept sticking out as I reminisced with many who are currently in the mid-20’s to early 30’s, and that was “the wedding age.”

Depending on where you are, there is probably a general age range that many of your friends and relatives get married. According to the National Health Statistics Reports published in 2012 (see here), the median age for marriage in the US for a female was 26 and a male was 28. Recent reports show that those numbers have raised a year. What this means is, on average, people are getting married in their 20’s and early 30’s.

And, most likely, this means that guests will be spending those same years hopping from wedding event to wedding event. For instance, I know one young lady, in her mid twenties, who attended 6 weddings in the past month. SIX!

And since they were all female friends of hers, that was 6 showers, 6 bachelorettes, 6 weddings, and 6 outfits. I myself have had 3 weddings so far this year (with more to come) and 4 already booked for next year. With all this in mind, I’ve decided to dub this time of wedding event frenzy: Plethora.

So how, as a guest, do you manage to shower each friend with the love and support they deserve without passing out from the sheer fatigue OR passing out when you see the credit card bill?

Here are my few tips:  Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!

Much like the old adage we were all happy to memorize in elementary school, there are ways to REDUCE your spending, REUSE outfits, and RECYCLE ideas.

REDUCING SPENDING

Showing You Care At The Start:

• My grandmother and my great-aunts all sent me beautiful cards and small gifts to congratulate me on my recent engagement. They were well appreciated and the cards are saved in my wedding keepsake box, however, I didn’t expect that treatment. From anyone. Especially from my friends who are at the point in life when they are buying homes, buying cars, getting married, or paying for grad school. But that doesn’t mean they didn’t show me they were excited. Most of my friends simply posted on social media cute congratulatory notes and pictures to show me how happy they were for us. They called. They texted. My one group of close friends all pulled together and made our monthly happy hour an engagement happy hour event, costing each of them an extra $4-5 bucks each. All of these options are wonderful and a great way to show your friends just how much they mean to you, but it’s up to you to decide how to best manage your time, energy, and wallet.

Honesty:

• The hardest part about weddings when it comes to money and time can be the extra events. Engagement parties, bridal showers, and bachelor/bachelorette parties are so much fun and, if you are like me, you thrive on going, seeing old friends, meeting new people, and hugging the bride and groom over and over again. BUT they also eat up time and can put a big dent in the wallet. So, my best advice to my friends when they are trying to figure out how to make a bridal shower and their mom’s birthday dinner and get their grad paper done is this: be honest. If you think you’ll have to leave a little early or arrive a little late, let someone know ahead of time when to expect you. If you can’t afford the Bachelorette in Vegas, that’s ok. Speak up. I recently went to a Bachelorette where girls who could not make it due to time or money sent a small gift along with someone else. At another bachelorette, many people Venmo‘d the MOH money to buy the bride drinks.  AND, if you are in the bridal party but know that money or time is a tight commodity, let the bride/groom know at the start. That way they can plan for you accordingly.

Handmade Gifts:

• A word of caution comes with this one and that is a handmade gift, unless you are a famous artist, popular on Etsy, or the bride/groom has made a special request, should be a supplement to the gift on their registry. As much as people may love the snow globe ornaments on your tree, that doesn’t mean that is all the bride or groom will want either. For instance, at a bridalshower a few years back, a friend and I made a shadowbox noting the important dates from the bride & groom’s relationship. We did it in the wedding colors and spent about $35 making the gift. It, however, was accompanied by another small gift, from each of us, that was on the bride’s registry. She loved the shadowbox and she was able to use the gifts she’d actually asked for as well. Total, each of us spent roughly $30 on the gift, saving us money but giving a gift that the bride could enjoy.

Sales & Discounts:

• When in doubt, wait for a sale. Most major department and wedding stores have sales throughout the year for those bridesmaid dresses and groomsmen tuxes. Need to buy an outfit to wear to that shower in April? Wait for a sale or coupon. Buying gifts? Buy them when they are on sale. I got two weddings shopped for for 50% off because I bought the items on Black Friday. Have a destination event? Buy the plane ticket when the major airline is having bargain deals. Need to book a room? Try to do it under the wedding block the couple has set up, see if you can bunk with someone else to split costs, or use a hotel/travel discount site. Know you have a bunch of weddings next year (like myself)? Just after the Christmas holiday, gift bags will be on steep discount. Buy the pretty gold, silver, and white ones for $2-3 off and stock up. Same goes for wrapping paper.

REUSE OUTFITS

Buying new:

• My number 1 rule when shopping for clothes is always make sure you can wear the entire outfit at least 3 times (bonus points if you can wear it to 5+). Even my wedding dress was worn at least 3 times (although 2 of them were just to dance around the house with wine in). For instance, I bought a $200 sweet yellow dress on sale for $125. I knew I’d be able to wear it to our spring work event, the wedding in August, and then again for a family event in the winter.

Using What You Have:

• There is no rule that says you have to wear a new outfit to someone’s event. Most likely, you already have a nice outfit for showers and engagement parties. So what if you wore that dress to your cousin’s wedding 15 months ago? If it isn’t all the same people at this upcoming wedding, then no one will be the wiser. And if you are asked to buy a specific outfit for an upcoming event (such as all girls wear black to the bachelorette), then 1st) see if you already have it in your closet 2nd) see if your friend has something you can borrow and, lastly, 3rd) buy it on sale or at discount if possible.

Renting & Borrowing:

• Like I said, feel free to borrow if you can. Most likely, your best friend has a tie you could use. And, more than likely, one of your girl friends has a cute dress for you. BUT if not, there is always the ever-so-magical option of renting. I’m a huge proponent of using Rent the Runway. I’ve used them for numerous events, including my own Bridal Shower, and they always come through. Even in the one instance where the dress I’d ordered couldn’t make it, they reached out to me and gave me an amazing (and more expensive) alternative for the same price. I know that many of my friends rely on these rental services for everything from wedding outfits to bridesmaids dresses to work events. It saves them money and the time it takes to go find that magical discounted deal at the mall.

RECYCLE IDEAS

• Save time and energy by recycling some of those fabulous ideas you had for the last shower or event. For instance, often as a bridesmaid you will be asked to come up with decorations and/or games for showers and bachelorettes. Rather than spend the hours searching for something new on Pinterest (although who doesn’t do that already?), if something went well before, then there is no reason it won’t again. For instance, I already had a template made for a BINGO game from a friend’s shower. So when I was asked to come up with a fun drinking game at a bachelorette, all I had to do was fill in the boxes with phrases tailored to the bride and event. It saved me time and I could print the copies at home, saving me some money. Another friend had ordered woven fans for guests to use during the ceremony. Rather than throw them out, she offers all friends and family the opportunity to borrow them. It saves the new brides money and time, but is also a great gift and way to shower your friend with support.
• And, other things people often throw out and forget they could recycle: gift bags, unwrapped tissue paper, and cloth ribbon. Also, if you bought or were given jewelry for a previous wedding, feel free to wear it again! And all those crafting materials you used for your own day or have stored after your sister’s big event? Why not offer to use some of them when you help the bride or groom craft for their upcoming shindig?

 

Weddings are expensive for just about everyone involved. We spend the money because we care about what it represents in our lives, our friends’ lives, and the world as a whole. We, as humans, need something to hold onto and love, especially the celebrations of that love, seem like a pretty good place to put your money and time. However, it is always important to budget and live within your means. So, find a way to be both frugal and generous! There are many creative ways to do it 🙂